1. Don't judge a restaurant by its strip mall. You will be tempted to, this is L.A., after all, where looks reign supreme.
2. Your favorite restaurant may well turn out to be located in a very ugly strip mall and yet, dinner for two will still cost you $200.
3. Be willing to drive. All over. L.A. The food might be that good.
4. Google Translate can decipher any menu. No speakee Chinese, No problemo!
5. Don't review a restaurant until you've eaten there more than once. Everybody has a bad day. Plus you could've ordered "wrong." It could be you. Don't be surprised if it takes you 17 times to decide what to write about in your review.
6. Hoard books. Read! Research! When I saw how many books graced the Gold home, I cheered. Books were stacked everywhere in Jonathan Gold's home. In shelves. On the staircase. On the table. Just say no to The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. Instead, say, "Honey, I'm keeping my books just the way they are."
7. Read Calvin Trillin.
8. Impress chefs like Sarin Sing (AKA Jazz) of Jitlada by reciting some of her "secret" ingredients. Bonus points if you pronounce the ingredients correctly.
9. When it's time to write your review, avoid the word "AMAZING!" at all costs. As in, the food was amazing! The service was amazing! The view was amazing!
10. Most importantly, discover the next great eatery before Jonathan Gold reviews it. Go often, 17 times in a row if you must, because once the place receives a "Gold" star, you will never get in again.
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Terrific post! I, too, loved the books in Gold's place stacked everywhere. And, yes, I, too, read and enjoy Calvin Trillin.
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